


Never Letting Go

by darling_dontforgetme



Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Apocalypse
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-25 17:20:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18579058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darling_dontforgetme/pseuds/darling_dontforgetme
Summary: The reader reassures Venable after she falls.





	Never Letting Go

As she passes by the library, Wilhemina’s face is soured, dark brows drawn together and lips pursed into a frown. You know it has been another hard day, and while you are used to her irritation and can recognize it immediately, there’s another emotion mixed in that you can’t quite place. With the only exception being her anger, your girlfriend has a face of stone when it comes to displaying her feelings, and something new, something slipping, is like a blaring red warning call.

Sliding out the door, you fall into step a good distance behind Venable, knowing her rules and how you can’t be seen together in public. You study her backside and realize that her gait is different. It’s not necessarily unusual, for she is constantly adjusting her steps to accommodate her twisted spine, but there’s something about this new walk that is worrisome, wrong even. Wilhemina is leaning on her cane more heavily than is typical, feet shuffling forward slowly, but barely even leaving the ground. You want to pull her aside, kiss her cheek, and demand to know the cause of this new type of suffering, but pushing her, especially in a communal space, has only ever caused her to shut down with frustration.

But something is definitely off, and as Wilhemina lifts her foot to step over the threshold separating one hallway from another, that something makes itself known, viciously. You watch as the toes of her shoe bump into the tiny raised portion of concrete and then just stick there while the rest of her body continues forward. Venable falls hard, hands splaying out to catch herself before her face can make contact with the ground, and oh, if your heart doesn’t just break. That unidentified emotion on her face just grows and grows and grows until you think it might burst out of her and consume the whole of the compound within her personal misery.

There’s the sudden sound of running footsteps and a male gray appears from around the corner, already bending towards Venable to help her as if she isn’t the most feared person to call Outpost 3 home. 

“Don’t!” You shout, darting forward as Wilhemina recoils from the gray’s outstretched hands. “Don’t touch her!”

The man looks up, startled, but you shake your head as you slip in between him and your girlfriend, shielding her from this stranger. You can hear her harsh, anxious breaths below you, and you reverse your steps until the backs of your ankles are touching her side, letting her know you are here, it’s okay, you’ll take care of her. You have only seen her fall once before in the privacy of your bedroom, so you know without asking that she is afraid for her inability to defend herself in such a fragile position, and she is embarrassed about being unable to lift herself up off of the ground without assistance. Mina is nothing if not stubborn, and she would rather her heart stop beating than she be seen as weak. She detests help so much that you rarely get to see a glimpse of her unguarded, and foreign hands helping her in this small moment of human vulnerability would be the worst possible thing to happen right now.

“Go on,” you encourage the gray, sweeping your hand in front of you to point in the direction he appeared from. “It’s alright. Go back to your duties.”

The man glances between you and Venable, then nods, slowly walking backward before turning and heading off out of sight.

You crouch next to Mina and help her sit up, stroking a hand across her cheek for comfort. You can’t do much more out here in the hallway, so you pull her up, press her cane into her hand, and change direction, heading left to your bedroom instead of right towards her office.

You walk near her, hands ready to reach out should she stumble again. Her head is held high and proud, as if nothing has happened, but the second you shut the bedroom door behind you, her shoulders sag and she drops onto the bed.

“Mina?” You question gently, moving to sit cross legged beside her. You reach into her lap for one of her hands, but she still won’t look at you, so you are forced to stare at the side of her downturned head. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine,” Wilhemina says. Her voice is much stronger than you expected, but really, you should have known she would still be hiding.

“V, baby, no.” You scoot closer and pull her against you, gently taking her hair down so you can brush your fingers through it. Wilhemina isn’t big on affection, but that doesn’t mean you won’t try. “Something happened today. I can see it. Please let me help.”

Venable sighs, breathing out another assurance that she is fine, but this time it sounds more tired, pained even. She wiggles in your grasp, her free hand moving around to rub harshly against the small of her back, and it’s like that red warning light blares again. You realize that the drawn face you glimpsed from the library was one of pain. You’ve never seen it before because she works so damn hard to hide it. 

Wilhemina thrives on control, but the misshapen status of her spine is the only thing in her life that she can’t gain dominance over. She considers it the weakest part of herself and even snarls at the slightest mention of her disability, so when it fights for some of her power, she ignores it and pushes on with her day. You can’t imagine how bad it must be hurting for some of the pain to slip out onto her face.

“Oh, baby. Oh, Mina.” You pull her into your lap and lean back against the headboard, refusing to let go when she tries to pull away. “It’s alright, you know?”

You tilt her chin toward you so you can meet her eyes, and she stops fighting you to feign confusion. “What? Of course everything is okay.”

You shake your head and kiss her cheek. “You work so hard on being strong every second of every day, but baby, it’s okay. It’s okay to be human sometimes. I know you don’t like for other people to see, and I get that, love, I promise I do, but look at where we are, Mina.” 

Her brown eyes track around the room and then back to you, glossing over, but the tears never come. 

“This is our bedroom. OUR bedroom. It’s just you and me here. No one else. This is a safe space, sweetheart. You are safe with me. No matter what it is, you are safe with me. Do you understand that?” You pause, letting the words sink in as you grasp onto her hand. “Do you think any less of me when I’m afraid or upset?”

Venable shakes her head and averts her eyes to her lap, hiding again, not wanting to meet your own eyes. But that’s okay, and you gently urge her to lean against you so that her face is cradled in the crook of your neck, her hot breaths tickling against your pulse point.

“I know it doesn’t make sense to you, baby. I know you don’t like it. I know it makes you feel fragile, and scared, and like something can get you at any second if you aren’t on your guard, but V, you have me for life. Nothing will scare me off, especially not human emotion and clumsiness. I am here for you, Wilhemina. I promise that, and I will never ever leave you. It’s okay for you to talk about things with me, and that won’t make you a burden. You could never be, baby. It won’t make you any less of who you already are, it won’t make you any less safe. Whatever negative consequences you think might happen because you decide to share things with me is wrong, sweet girl. I won’t hurt you, I won’t love you any less. I’m right here-.” You point at her heart with your joined hands, circling your finger around on her chest. “-For forever. And this, this safe space we have, it’s with the both of us, wherever we are. I want to hear about your day, and what Miss Mead did to piss you off, and how your back hurts, but you think a massage or a bath might really help. I want to hear about what makes you sad, what makes you excited, what you love, V, because I know you have a heck of a lot of love inside of you even though you are hesitant to let it show. I’m not asking you to change, baby. I would never. I’m just asking you to let me love you like you love me. Openly, and deeply. Don’t hide anything, no matter what. Even if it makes you feel small to admit, or embarrassed, or like you want to hide. Tell me, Mina. Tell me everything and never, ever stop. I love you, baby.”

Venable’s chest heaves, and you know this is it, this is the moment where the day’s events have finally built up into too much for her, and that maybe, just maybe, you might have gotten through to her a little. She breaks out in a loud sob, clutching onto your shirt, and you wrap your arms around her, cuddling her close. You just let her cry. It doesn’t happen often. You’re actually not sure you have ever seen her full on cry, as she typically never progresses past the watery eye stage. Occasionally, you kiss her forehead or her hair and murmur reassurances, fingertips tracing soothingly up and down her arm. After a while, you think she might have actually fallen asleep, ear resting upon your heartbeat, but then she shifts ever so slightly and winces.

“What can I do to help you, baby?” You stroke back her hair so you can see her face.

Venable shakes her head, then closes her eyes like she’s pulling herself together. “My back hurts, and I think I scraped my knees.”

You don’t dare do anything without asking permission first, not wanting to break this fragile state Wilhemina has allowed you to see her in, not wanting to scare her after so much progress. “V, would it be okay if I looked at your knees?”

Mina nods softly, and you tug up her skirt to see that she did much more than just scrape her skin, but even admitting to her pain is a start. Numerous scratches stretch across her pale knees, already beginning to bruise, and pathways of blood trickle down her legs.

You kiss Venable’s temple and murmur in her ear. “Let’s get you cleaned up.” You ease her off your lap and wrap an arm around her waist, supporting her for the short walk to the bathroom. After filling the tub, you help her balance as she steps out of her shoes. You unbutton her jacket for her and slip it off her shoulders, and she shimmies out of her long purple skirt. You start to reach for the hem of her undershirt, but Wilhemina shies away, wrapping her arms around her torso and gripping tightly onto the fabric to prevent it from being removed.

“It’s okay,” you promise, holding up your hands in surrender, in I love you, I won’t hurt you. Her head is tucked down, but her eyes peek over the rim of her glasses to look at you. “It’s okay,” you repeat. “You don’t have to hide from me. But your back is yours, baby, and you don’t have to show me anything you don’t want to, either. Your body, your choice, love. What you want matters. You know that, right? But I also want you to know that it doesn’t make you any less. It’s a part of you, and I love every bit of you. Every. single. bit.”

Wilhemina sniffles and tears start slipping down her cheeks, dripping onto your toes. You would do anything to make this easier for her. You take her face in both of your hands and smile softly.

“Look, baby. I know it’s not the same, but look at all of these stretch marks I have- on my hips, on my thighs, my arms.” You know she has seen them, but you tug your shirt over your head anyway, revealing the thick scratches that look like something clawed its way down your body. You bring her hand to your side, and she traces her finger up and down the puckered skin. “These don’t make me ugly, V. Your scoliosis doesn’t make you ugly, either.”

Wilhemina nods and bites her lip, something you have never seen her do before. “You’re so patient with me.”

“Of course, sweetheart,” you reassure her. “You deserve everything I can give you.” 

“Will you… umm.” Venable pauses, uncertain, and you wait patiently, giving her the time and space to find comfort with you. “Will you take a bath with me?”

Your heart swells so big for everything she is giving you, today, for all of this trust. “I would love to, Mina.” You strip off the rest of your clothes and wait as she hesitantly removes her undershirt, then you guide her into the bath. Settling against the cold porcelain, Mina uses the sides of the tub to balance as she lowers herself between your legs and stiffly leans back against you. Wilhemina hisses as her knees hit the water, pulling them back up into the air to ease her burning wounds. 

“Shh, it’s okay,” you soothe, stroking her shoulder, but being careful to avoid her back. “I know, love, I know. It will sting for a minute, but I promise it will help.”

V’s face is so open right now, so unguarded, and it takes you by surprise when she looks at you with eyes full of trust. You catch her lips with your own for a quick kiss, so proud of her.

Wilhemina grimaces as she drops her knees below the water again, but then her face smooths out and she finally relaxes against you. “I love you,” she whispers, just loud enough for you to hear.

You wrap your arms around her, holding her tight, and smile into her hair. “I love you, too, V. So, so much.”


End file.
